Super Bowl

Today I made ribs in the crock pot, mashed potatoes with garlic and green onions, along with some steamed asparagus.  We also had chips, fresh guacamole, assorted veggies with dilly dip (probably my favorite food ever), and black bean dip.

For dessert, I made Dark Chocolate Salted Caramel Oreo pie.

Here is the recipe:

The pie

Happy Sunday!

Go to hell, you know who you are. ***NSFW***

Everyone sucks.  I am so very tired of people that fuck other people over, then get to go on with their lives as if nothing happened.  I see sunshine and happiness for everyone else...those who did damage to others...yet they pretend like nothing happened.  Like they did not ruin lives, like they had no part.  I am not sure how to absorb the falsities they put forth.  Like nothing they did made an imprint in the Universe.  I want to tell them how evil and false they are, but what would that accomplish?  Does that just put my venom out there and in front of everyone?  How to people get to see their misdeeds?  Does it make it all mine?  Is it something that I need to address and not them?  I want them to feel humiliated, and alone.  I want them to question their decisions that were made at their core.  Why does this happen?  Why do those who have done wrong get to go on without restraint?  Is there something that I am missing?  It does not make sense for those who have carved a path of damage to move forward unscathed.  It’s been years.  I have been patient.  I’ve tried to improve - to be unmoved, to be better.  Yet…these whore bitches loudly move forward in their fake, subsidized parades...posting pictures, touting peace, faking love...when calamity is their legacy.  I hate them for their falsity.  And frankly, I am angry how angry I am.  What is happening?  I am honest and strong.  I know who I am.  And yet I let these nasty energies walk all over my heart and make me doubt me.  Fuck you.

Words to live by

We are stewards of each other’s dignity every day; how we give, how we take, how we are stretched, bent or broken by each other.

So Give. Donate. Volunteer. Share. Feed. Clothe. Hold. Acknowledge. Make eye contact. Greet. Really see the people who you pass every day. There is nothing more undignified than ignoring another human being. This discussion is as much about your own dignity as it is about theirs.

- Elle Govertsen

Thanks for sharing Walt & Cliff...

My and I have new friends....

We need to take apples and carrots when we walk.

Christmas decor 2014

Undecorated tree.

Food for thought.

R.I.P Eric Garner

Frozen Fog

Walking in frozen fog with a headlamp is kinda cool.

We should listen to the lessons...

...that the Universe puts in front if us.  Animals are amazing and incredible and we should be more like them.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1BxPz8TX0Oo

Our Beautiful Black Dog

I do not know when Sadie was born.  I met her on December 23, 1999.  I had gone to Erin's to drop off her Christmas gift.  I was locking up the truck box and I saw a little dog trying to get into the front door of the house on the corner where the tweakers were squatting.  A man came out and kicked the little dog down the driveway and threw her a piece of bread.  Flabbergasted, I walked up to Erin's place and told her what happened.  We decided to steal the dog.  The rest is history.

When she was young, she was a total and complete terror.  I was actually asked not to bring her to certain homes.  She would steal shoes, tear stuff up, knock over children and lick them until they cried with that massive tongue of hers.  She would dig and throw the dirt behind her and then spin around and try and catch the dirt.  She would chase the reflections from the CD's that I'd hung from the trees to keep her "occupied."  Man, that was a mistake if there ever was one.  It became her life-long obsession to chase reflections...lights, laser pointers, flashlights, anything!  She'd bite at the ground trying to "catch" the light, even literally running me over trying to catch the laser pointer light.    She has always obsessively licked - everything!  Rob has always joked that my personal ad with descriptions of my dog with the foot-long tongue seemed generally suspect from the get-go (but he messaged me anyways, thankfully).  She loves swimming to a fault - the last couple of years found her standing in the lake at Sage Hen, shivering from exhaustion but refusing to leave the splashing kids.  She would dog paddle and try to bite the splashes she created.  She's always been jealous of almost everything - food, our time, other people's/dog's food, etc.  She's always, always had one ear flopped over and one ear straight, unless she was on alert...then they both stuck straight out of the top of her head - I called them "radar ears" a time or two.

Her life changed first when she got hit and had her leg amputated.  That saga is a whole story in itself, I won't detail it here.  She slowed down only a little.  She still obsessively chased her Kong on a rope - many people never even noticed that she was three-legged until she stopped running. She'd bring back the Kong, the ball, the stick - whatever - over and over and over.  Whatever it was would be covered in slobber;  it would eventually have to be hidden so she'd stop harassing the humans.  It was this amputation experience that first showed me her stoicism.  From her accident to her amputation - when she walked out of the kennel just after the surgery that removed one of her rear legs - she never made a sound.  Didn't ever cry out - ever.  Her tolerance for pain was incredible.

The second change for her was when she met her Papa.  I took her with me to Moxie Java to meet Rob for the first time.  He brought her a toy, thus cementing their relationship forever and a day.  She loved him and he loved her.  She would let him sit on her, lay on her, tease her - stuff she would not even let me do.  I will admit that I have felt jealous over the years about their special  bond.  I've said it before, I am the one who saved her ass, but Rob has forever and always will be HER person.

It started snowing on Thursday, November 13th.  Over the last months, Sadie had gotten slower and more obstinate about going outside.  She would plant her front feet and we would have to lift up her butt-end and push her forward.  That week she had started sitting down when we took her out and she would sit there and just pee on herself.  We had thought for months and months that she was probably on her way out - but we had always said it kind of off-handedly.  We commented all the time in our own private conversations and also to others that she was still so with us mentally - so she was fine.  I think we both knew in our hearts though that she was getting worse physically - we, of course could not bring ourselves to admit it.  The snow and ice was the last straw, so to speak.  She could no longer hold herself up outside.  She would come in and take a few steps and lose her footing, even with the yoga mats that lined every traffic area in our home.  On Friday the 14th, we decided to make the appointment for euthanasia.

I have decided not to detail my experience with her death here.  It was not what I wanted...but I suppose we cannot dictate how these difficult times actually happen.  Sadie took her last breaths around 5:00pm on Saturday, November 15, 2014.  She was almost 16 years old.  She died at home, on our bed, with her nose tucked under my chest.  It was an awful experience - I don't think my eyes have yet recovered from the cloudiness from all of the crying.  We have, of course, questioned every single thought that we had over the last couple of weeks...but I think that we both know that the decision was the right one.  She was struggling, and it was not fair for us to fight to keep her here.

Sadie was obstinate as hell.  She made me crazier than I would like to admit an animal could make me.  She loved her Papa like no soul could have loved another - literally.  She's taken up the bulk of our lives for the last several years.  She's peed and shit in the house, often.   She's  barfed, barked, and obsessed so singularly that she's honestly lucky we did not murder her in her sleep.  But, we loved her.  She was our Old Lady Sadie.  Big Sade.  The Sade.  Sadie McGrady.  The Black Dog.  Big Girl.  Monkey Sade.  She loved licking out peanut butter jars. She loved riding in the car.  She loved camping.  She loved kids.  The was the best dog goalie ever.  She was funny, noisy, hilarious, annoying, demanding, messy, expensive...and we loved her.  And will miss her today and always.

  

Sadie

Kind of looks like a damn crime scene, doesn't it?

Owlie Baby Shower

Baby boy shower breakfast for a co-worker.  Her nursery theme is owls.  The words on the owls are Spanish terms of endearment boy a baby boy (she's from Puerto Rico).  The diaper cake was made by JNC.

Walking

Yesterday it poured all day.  All damn day.  The sky looked dusky even at noon and the constant dripping noise thrummed in my ears from the time I woke up until I went to bed.  Drip drip drip drip...Drip drip...Drip.  Terrible day.

Today started very early thanks to daylight savings.  Thankfully, the gorgeous Sun was shining.  My and I went for a walk.

A soggy couch on stilts in an alley.  There are puddles everywhere and all around us are soaked wooden fences steaming in the morning Sun.

Now it's time for some Church of the NFL.

Medical Mafia strikes again!

I finally found My's vaso-dialator, Vetmedin (pimobendan) for sale in Canada.  It cost $75 for 120 tablets.  Here in the US, it is $58 for 30 tablets.  My takes three tablets per day.

Seriously?  She's doing awesome on the meds she's on.  So, I'm being held hostage by American pharma.  I can keep her alive and give her a good quality of life...but basically burying myself under the cost of doing it.

F*ck you, pharma.  Thanks for making me choose death...or life...for my DOG.

My Old Lady Sadie

Gave Sadie an oatmeal bath today to soothe and cleanse her hind end.  She's all clean and soft and fuzzy.  Now, after a quick snack of sauteed tilapia, she's sleeping peacefully.

Woodland-themed going away party

Hosted this "bye bye" party for Kelly at work today.

Table decor

The food table.  The veggies and pretzel sticks were supposed to resemble a tree branch with leaves.

More table decor...see the pretty green dried hops?

"Acorns" that Allison put together...they are Hershey's Kisses, mini Nutter Butters and peanut butter chips on top, all held together with a little melted chocolate.

Toadstool cupcakes

Closeup of the veggie and pretzel "branch."

The food table, again.

 

Most all the decor items were from the Dollar Store - the rocks, the moss, the glass cylinders, the little bits of organic matter (it was a bag of Dollar Store "potpourri" that did not smell.  Of anything.  At all.).  The plates and napkins were also from the Dollar Store.  The pinecones and the hops were from my alley.  All the dishes were mine.  The burlap and brown butcher paper were from my stash.  The light mossy tablecloths came from Zurchers.

 

There was a big bowl of pesto hummus that I made (I have ridiculous amounts of fresh basil), a cream cheese log that was made with cream cheese, grated parmesean, fresh chives, basil and parsley from my garden; then rolled in crushed pepitas and fresh cracked black pepper.  All the pretzels were from the dollar store - rods, little sticks and butter braids.  Veggies, crackers and dips were store bought.  The cucumbers were freshly sliced from my garden.  

 

The guest of honor loved the decor so it all worked out!