Notes from today

I am waiting for something to happen. For the roof to collapse maybe…for something to implode in one momentous sucking noise – for something science fiction cool to happen in my own dying back yard. I mean, wouldn’t it be neat to see some fat hairy lady sprout a small fig tree out her nose while festering in the “eternity” line at the bank? Or watch someone mutate into a frog (a big, human-sized fog in white silk panties) while eating over-processed slop in some obscenely crowded, greenish and hysterical luncheon joint? I want to be in a huge room glowering with artificial lights that buzz and rubber chairs with leather straps. Oozing bottles of slimy eyeballs would comfort me from their dusty, cob-webbed shelves – or casting spells maybe? I would even enjoy hot, bubbly and steamy test tubes perched above ancient Bunsen burners, percolating smelly new diseases and beings with translucent skins. I am wishing for hospital-tile floors covered in caustic spills leaking into cold corners. To lean into the air and breathe dank, murky, and thick moisture, sucking the burn into my lungs and getting fuzzy from it. I’m tired of nature and niceties! I’m sick of birds and babies. I’m voting for permed hair and liposuction, computer-generated fantasies and metal flooring – partially hydrogenated vegetable oil and unventilated oil refineries…let’s just turn the whole thing to plastic, refrigerated falseness. Sometimes I wish they would dip me in wax.